I’ve changed my book cover for Mourning Has Broken. I’ve kept the stained glass as the front cover because my sister made and gave me the stained glass window as a gift for a new house I had moved into.
You can see the new cover at my home page.
Here’s a re-blogged excerpt from The Stained Glass Window, one of the essays in Mourning Has Broken.
For awhile, I am intrigued with the teachings of Raja Yoga. “The main object of this form of yoga is to balance the energy throughout the brain and body so that the mind becomes very calm,” the very sexy and young Guru says.
We meditate on the kind of life we want to have in our next life.
I imagine living on a beach with him.
Later, I will think that this karma planning is no different that buying a lottery ticket.
You don’t have to win in order to enjoy the fantasy.
These days I want to believe that my particular life on Earth is but one of several journeys I will take. Earth but one stop among many; one of many experiences. And maybe I will get to choose to live another experience at another time in another space.
My niece Debbie asks me if I believe in God.
“I don’t believe but I hope there is something else,” I say.
The Aboriginals living in northern Quebec believe that the spirit of the dead linger on for a while; then they are absent as if they are busy doing something.
Getting passports, maybe, or tattooed or having identity chips installed into brand new supersonic bodies or maybe painting dream billboards. Who knows? Then, the great tribal leaders say that the dead come back and we can feel their presence once more.
When she first died last September, I strongly felt my sister’s presence for two or three months.
Then she was gone as if the connection between us had jammed. 
I found her absence unsettling for it put into question my spiritual beliefs about the afterlife.
Maybe after all, there was nothing but a memory that becomes foggier and foggier as time goes on.
Carol Balawyder 
I love that you used the image of your sister’s stained-glass window on the cover of your book. Gives it such meaning, not to mention it’s very pretty.
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It is pretty. Thanks.
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Carol – I love that stained glass! It’s lovely. It’s interesting isn’t it, and I think helpful, the way the loss of someone can encourage us to reflect on what we think of spirituality. As painful as it is to lose someone, the process asks us to reflect on the bigger questions. I think that can be a good thing, if unsettling.
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Thanks, Margot. Of course, death always brings us to the BIG question…and not many answers.
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Thank you for posting this, Carol. Life can be utterly confusing. I am a believer. It doesn’t mean I have the answers. I only have the hope injected in my being. Hugs! Love the stained glass.
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Thank you.
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Do you ever feel like you would like to go back in time and relive some of the years that you had with your loved one that is no longer here? That is the way I feel these past few days.
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This is interesting.Yes, I would like to go back in time, especially the early years when we lived at home as children. That was a carefree time.
I wonder why you’re feeling this nostalgia these days.
I just started reading this book by Elizabeth Berg (Tapestry of Fortunes) where she visits the grave site of her best friend and has a conversation with her. It’s only when she asks her friend where she is that the conversation stops. That’s the great mystery, isn’t it?
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A thoughtful, insightful post, Carol. It’s wonderful that the cover design can have such a sentimental meaning to you.
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It does. Thank you.
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Welcome, of course.
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I am still confused…which one is the new cover design…the picture, the second or the third?
Ursula
Sent from my iPad
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Go to the home page.
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Beautiful cover Carol, I can’t wait to read this book!
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Allo carole, j’aime beaucoup ce changement. L’utilisation du vitrail fait par ta sœur est touchante. Comme le vitrail est fait de morceaux de verre coupes et rassembles, il est comme la mort: séparation et espérance d’être réuni un jour…c’est aussi la fragmentation causée par la peine et le processus de deuil qui nous permet de nous refaire. cette image est très symbolique , autant le thème que les couleurs, elle s’adapte très bien au sujet de ton livre. Bravo!
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Merci, Louise. C’est une belle analyse.
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Carol, I really like the new version of your book cover. It has lost that “boxed in” look and has a nice flow to it now. It’s like you’ve unleashed the essence of the original image, the fragility of life which is more evident in your new version. Your name is also more visible.
Bravo! Well done….
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Thanks, Thelma. I worked with a graphic artist on it. I think he did a good job as well.
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Book covers are so hard to decide on. I’ve made quite a few (horrid) ones myself and finally decided to spring for professional work. Now, I’m having him redo my early efforts. What a difference!
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I like the design of your cover. (I peeked at your homepage.) I know what you mean by feeling the presence of someone who has ‘go on’. My ex-husband left way back in 1984. Yet to this day there are times when I know he’s still fluttering around. And when he’s not with me, he’s with our son. People think I’m odd but that’s just the way it is.
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Thanks for the comment. I like what you say about fluttering around. No one really knows and so all we’ve got are feelings and intuitions.
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Pingback: Fellow Blogger – Carol Balawyder | It Goes On
I feel badly that you don’t feel as close to your sister’s presence. It will come and go, but I feel that you have wonderful memories and this will keep you going until you ‘meet again.’ May you have peace in those moments that you do have memories. It would be hard for me to imagine losing one of my brothers or my children. I will face losing my Mom in not too many more years. The stained glass photos are lovely, Carol! Smiles, Robin
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Thank you…You are so very kind and generous in your comments. 🙂
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Beautiful heart and blog. Nice to meet you via Ellie!
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that’s a very beautiful piece of art, your sister lives on through it 🙂
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Thanks for your lovely comment. 🙂
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You are an exceptional writer and I know your sister would be proud of the work you’ve done. I read this posting and your excerpt from Mourning Has Broken is lovely. Your writing is colorful and thought provoking and more than anything I can relate. I was certain she was with me [my Susie] for a good while after she had passed but then one day it was like she was gone. It was a dreadful lonely feeling I had. I feel her presence (or so I like to believe) from time to time. It usually happens when things are rough and I am feeling low. I don’t know what happens to us when we die but I like what you said here, “the great tribal leaders say that the dead come back and we can feel their presence once more.” I hope it’s like that. Thank you again, I look forward to reading more of your work. – JM
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I also hope it’s like that as well.
Your words are both kind and very much appreciated.
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stained glass cover is very nice. the comments are very interesting 🙂 loved reading
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Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
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blessings
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What a gorgeous tribute to your sister. Thanks.
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Thank you.
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