Absent Fathers

I am truly blessed and grateful for all those who have interviewed me on my latest novel Getting To Mr. Right.
Anneli brilliantly suggested that I approach this interview through a theme. Absent fathers and their effect on women’s adult relationship with men lies at the core of my novel. In Anneli’s post I illustrate this through an excerpt on the theme of absent fathers.
Thank you so warmly, Anneli for the fantastic job you did with the information I gave you! 🙂

Anneli's Place

My guest today is Carol Balawyder of Montreal. I’ve invited her to tell us about one of her new novels, “Getting to Mr. Right.”

carol balawyder

One of the underlying themes of Getting to Mr. Right is the absent father. The main protagonist, Campbell Jones, has done much research on the topic and is convinced that her father’s abandonment is to blame for her being “unlucky in love.” In this scene she meets her father at the Museum of Contemporary Art which is hosting a photo exhibit by the Brazilian artist, Vik Muniz.

Sitting there, she became a girl of nine or ten again, feeling the weight of rejection. “Why didn’t you come all those times you said you would?” she blurted out before she lost her courage. When her father gave her a puzzled look, she continued, “When I was younger, you promised to take me out and never showed up. So…

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27 thoughts on “Absent Fathers

    • Thanks, Carrie. Yes, I am fortunate to have fellow bloggers who wanted to interview me about Getting To Mr.Right.
      It makes me think that as self published authors our blogging community is really a great asset. I am so grateful to all who follow my blog and to those I follow. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. This is why I bought your book. The theme of ‘Absent Fathers’ is so fertile, precisely because of the wide spectrum that absenteeism involves. I publicly “blame” my father for ruining my relationships with men, simply because of his “misogyny”. Men who are misogynistic simply cannot raise healthy daughters. The “misogyny” will be transmitted to the daughter immediately. However, since I have publicly vented myself here, I will add that “blames” and accusations lead to just that: “venting”, and being mindful and letting go is what has worked for me.

    This is what Wiki says about ‘misogyny’:
    “Misogyny (/mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/) is the hatred or dislike of women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including sexual discrimination, denigration of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification of women. Misogyny can be found within many mythologies of the ancient world as well as various religions. In addition, various influential Western philosophers have been described as misogynistic.”

    This statement may even allude to figures such as Sigmund Freud, who with his “Oedipus complex” theory, implied that women would get over their complexes through giving birth to a child, or getting married to “grow up”. Of course I’ve met wonderful men and continue to do so. However, having been raised in misogynistic household, I can see how your characters are predisposed to the “prince charming” encounter.


    • Carol, I am glad you published it, and I thank you. It is a myth, the prince charming ‘encounter’, and this is for sure the reason why I’ve put marriage off for so long. I value my intellectual development first and I cannot risk that for the sake of a partner to put a patch on my loneliness. I’m also healing my father-daughter relationship now, that he is going to die soon, and understanding this relationship from a much wider perspective that involves “seeing the man that he was”, but now only as a vestige; and with that little, he can love me back. I will come back to this post at a later time also.


  2. Great interview and I agree that the “Father” figure has a huge impact on girls and how they attract and meet men. It is an interesting topic to discuss and once understood would help many women with their relationshiips. Thanks Carol.


  3. Glad to see you making the circuit with your newest book Carol. Indeed it is a controversial subject, this father and daughter link. As you know, I am currently reading your book, I am halfway through, unfortunately as you know my time has been very limited of late. But I am loving it and just getting the feel for all 4 women’s views on their relationship issues and will be happy to review when I’m done. 🙂 I have to agree that we do get affected in relationships from our own experiences with our parents. As you know from reading my books, my relationship with my father was very close and hence, I think it steered me to look for similar qualities in the relationships I entered, with a few exceptions, when I knew I had made a wrong choice from the beginning. Another great interview my friend. ❤


  4. Hi Carol! It’s been quite a while and I decided to stop by. I am glad to read this post. May I congratulate you on a wonderful job. The subject of ‘absentee fathers’ is a very important one for the wellbeing of society. I wonder what the world would be if mothers were not wise enough to be present to their siblings. We fathers have to be the ones to make our daughters have taste for marriage through our behavior towards their mother; and this cannot be done if we are absent from home and to our girls. Thanks for creating awareness through your thrilling story.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I also wish to get our library to include this in their books, will have to get this done, since I am a procrastinator. I don’t purchase books any more unless they are on the discards shelf or a garage sale….limited budget.
    Carol, your book sounds like a ‘keeper!’ Good luck in your getting more to read and purchase it, too!


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